The creative process can be a real rollercoaster! On the good days, it’s easy to be positive about your work. But on the bad days, it’s just as easy to let self-doubt creep in.
I wrote these letters to remind myself of some important truths about writing. My hope is that they can help other writers too.
Dear Bad-Day Stephanie,
You smell like guilt. Sweaty, cheesy, deep fried guilt. What’s up with that?
Is it because you didn’t add any new words to your manuscript today?
I bet it is.
Right now you’re torn, because although you sat down at your computer to work, you spent most of that time staring at a blank word document. You might have scribbled some frantic notes about your manuscript, but if I know you, you probably don’t think those notes count as “real writing.” After all, none of those words will make it into the final draft. They’re just for planning purposes.
You’re feeling like you didn’t get anything accomplished today. You’re also feeling like if anyone finds out, they’re going to reveal that you’re a fraud. A faker. A lazy, liar-liar-pants-on-fire because you said you were writing but you were actually just thinking, and everybody knows that’s not the same thing.
And yeah, maybe it’s not the same thing, but I think you know deep down that all of that thinking is really important to the writing process.
Some days, you hit a wall. The words won’t come. You have no idea where to go next. What’s the solution? Sure you can just write anyway—and sometimes that works. Sometimes you push through the block by stumbling around on the page for a bit. But other times, it doesn’t work, and the only solution is to stop and think.
Daydreaming is the most important part of the creative process. You’re making up a story after all, one that didn’t exist before, and you can’t do that without a little daydreaming.
I know you know this.
You accept this.
In fact, you embrace it.
The core of your concern lies elsewhere. What you’re really worried about is that other people don’t know, accept, and embrace this.
Lots of people, especially non-creative-types, don’t get it (you know who I’m picturing). They need things to be concrete and measurable.
Example: “How many books have you published? How many books have you sold? How much money have you made off your books? How many of your books have been on the New York Times Bestseller List?”
Answers: Zero. Zero. Zero. And zero.
In their defense, the writing process is really weird and mysterious. But the problem with this line of thinking is that it focuses too much on numbers as a way to measure creative success. The reality is that one day you might add 1,000 words to your novel-in-progress. The next day you might delete 2,000. You’re still closer to your goal, even if the numbers don’t reflect that.
Time is a much better unit for measuring your creative success. Not as it relates to the number of hours you spent on a project (side note: faster doesn’t always mean better), but rather, did you take the time to sit down and work at all? That is where the triumph lies. That is how you use your art to make a life for yourself, instead of just a career.
Now, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to sell a bajillion copies of your book, or make a bajillion dollars off your writing, and if that happens—hey, great. But if it doesn’t you shouldn’t feel guilty about it. Or worry that people are going to only see what you didn’t accomplish and think you’re a fraud.
And hey, if they do…so what?
Who cares what they think? The people in your life who matter most don’t see it that way. Your husband, for example. He gets it. Stop worrying that maybe he secretly thinks you’re a lazy, liar-liar-pants-on-fire. Your pants would actually have to be on fire for him to think something like that.
One more thing.
Not every day can be a writing day. It just can’t be. Life is too complicated. Stuff happens. Whether it’s an emergency or something fun, sometimes things pull you away from your work. Sometimes for a day. Sometimes for much, much longer. That’s ok too. Don’t beat yourself up about what you can’t control.
At the time of writing this, there’s a lot going on that’s out of your control. You haven’t been able to do as much writing as you’ve wanted to because your family needs you. You’ve spent more time helping them, and less on that long list of goals you have. You might feel like you’re failing at writing right now, but you’re doing some really important work in another area of your life. You’re more than just your writing, you know…
But that’s a conversation for another day.
Keep thinking. Keep daydreaming. It has value.
